And…Action! Teens Calling the Shots

Welcome back!

One of the things I love about our “new urban” town is the effort that community organizers put into engaging and focusing on the needs of all residents, from toddlers to seniors.

Last year I published a post about the dangers of creating age specific or segregated communities, like those 55+ communities scattered across the nation especially in Florida.  That discussion was part of a review I did of Andrew Blechman’s novel Leisureville (to listen to a discussion I had with Andrew on this topic you can listen to the New Urban Podcast).

While sometimes it can be a pain sharing a theater with giggly teenagers or maneuvering through a group of awkward teens at the mall….our “positive” interaction with them does “them” a world of good.  They learn from us and we learn from them.  That’s a good system for preparing good citizens for the future.

Of course it helps when some thought goes into engaging our teens in meaningful ways and that’s what our town has done.  We actually have a teens’ council and this weekend the teens’ council is sponsoring a 24-hour film challenge.

The challenge works like this: Interested teens including my 16 year old son, were invited to gather at our local art gallery on Friday evening to receive some resources and guidelines before setting off to create a short film in 24-hours.  Cameras had to be provided by the teens themselves (well their parents).

Since last night parents, including ourselves, have been driving groups of teens from one destination point to another (based on their scene plan).

At the 24 hr point (9 p.m. tonight) they have to hand in their finished film on VHS tape or DVD.  The really exciting thing is the winner will be announced at a ceremony the kids will be attending in our town hall tomorrow evening.  So there’ll be no long wait to find out who won (a definite sign that kids put this together).

Here we have a youth driven initiative, supported by parents (as chauffeurs and gofers) and the community as a whole to ignite and inspire our youth to do something creative and constructive.  Our local art gallery, town hall and other facilities were all made available for the teens to use for networking, getting information and for ultimately celebrating this great artistic, community based initiative.

I’ll keep you posted on the winner…

Moms and Dads – Your Last Assignment: TEENS

After a child is born both parents and kids become the stars of the family. Hey we brought new life into the world and the future seems bright.

Then come the comic years…toddlers and primary school aged kids are so cute. They do say the funniest things and they keep us in stitches as they learn to eat human style, walk, string together sensible and non-sensible sentences (those ones are the best!) and give us their unconditional tantrums and love.

Well Moms and Dads…just as you feel you’ve done an exceptional job with your assignment as new parents you are promoted to the next level: PARENTS OF TEENAGERS – MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Of course I’m joking it’s not impossible and for me this period has offered some of the most endearing experiences as a parent. But like most, I have had my days.

I look at how hard some teens work at their academics, sports and friendships and I’m moved to happy tears when they succeed. My own two have grown so much and developed into such really good people and human beings.

On the other hand I really hurt for those teens that I know aren’t being heard or haven’t been given the tools and encouragement by those that love them to become confident individuals. As a community I think it is a concern for all of us.

Without that confidence teenage years can be tough and our young people can make some of the worst mistakes of their lives. They can also make some of the best decisions of their lives. As the men and women who love them we have our own jobs to do with respect to the development of our teens.

Healthy teen self esteem is first nurtured at home. A secure home life, supportive parents and a reliable extended family provide the launching point that allows children to thrive. From there it’s a safe school environment and positive peer relationships that further affirm their feelings of being valuable to others.

If a teens home life offers more negative feedback than positive nurturing, it is nearly impossible for that child to come through puberty feeling good about themselves.

Teenagers who don’t have a strong sense of personal value from their parents are left viewing themselves through the critical eyes of their peers. And what they see there is often disappointing.

Making embarrassing mistakes, feeling clumsy, going through the first love heart break or not doing everything right the first time is all part of being a teenager. But a teen with low self esteem takes every stumble personally and internalizes the failure as being part of who they are.

That’s why it is so important to help our kids survive their mistakes and deal with disappointments from an early age. Positive teen self esteem is crucial. The best way to improve your teen’s self-esteem is to take a very active role in your teen’s life.

It’s hard work when you have a job and your own issues to manage, but you brought this bright light into the world and it is up to you–and really “us” as a community–to ensure that bright light shines. Know your teen’s interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, so that you’ll be aware of any problems that may arise. You don’t have to become the gestapo but you could gain a lot of knowledge about your teen just through conversation.

If you have a teenager who is struggling with low self esteem, you have to take every opportunity to remind your son or daughter of what value they are to you and to others. Provide them with opportunities to be with people who will build them up and encourage them.

For more information and support about parenting your teen see the resources offered by Aurelia Williams who is a certified Parenting Coach and author of How You Can Help Your Teen To Be Successful In High School.