The Sandwich Generation

I had a “Sandwich Generation” moment over the weekend that was bittersweet.  For those of you tired of yet another marketing label for a generation, well, I can’t help you because this is one label I’m living and so are many other people.

According to the Pew Research Center just over 1 out of every 8 Americans aged 30 to 60 is both raising a child and caring for a parent.   

Last weekend I had a girlfriend from my childhood over to share some spectacular safari pictures she had taken during a recent trip to Africa.  It was a once in a lifetime trip and I was excited to both see and hear about her journey.

Earlier in the day as I was travelling to my local market, I saw one of my neighbors who is a good friend of my mother.  I told her about my plans for the evening and invited her over. Still later that afternoon as I was talking to my mother (we talk to each other several times a day), I encouraged her to come over. 

So that evening I had my childhood girlfriend, my mother and father, my mother’s good friend, my kids and husband all together for an evening of good food and conversation.  I couldn’t help but think about the fact that only say 25 years ago, the scenario would have included many of the people in the room, but the relationship would have been a different.

Instead of socializing together it would have been more like…”Mom, Angela and I are going to my room to look at her pictures.” Then we would have scuttled off for privacy and serious teen talk in my bedroom.

Fast forward 25 years and I feel like we’re all contemporaries.  My mother and her friend were right in the middle of the discussion appreciating the exotic experiences of my girlfriend and just as excited as I was to hear about places like Zanzibar and Kenya.   Who would have thought that two generations could be such great company for each other.

That’s where I differ with the standard definition of the Sandwich Generation.  If you google it you’ll see frequent references to adult children who are in the position of being a caretaker for their parents.  Well, my parents are very independent and while we enjoy living close to them so that we can get over to their place quickly if they need assistance with something like a stalled car or to shovel snow, I “enjoy” spending time with them not because I have to, but because I have a good time talking about life, their plans, my kids, the latest movie, a new recipe…the list is endless.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine, Annette Yen, wrote a very thoughtful post in her blog about the relationships we have with our parents.  Please read it here, I think you’ll enjoy it.