The Sandwich Generation
I had a “Sandwich Generation” moment over the weekend that was bittersweet. For those of you tired of yet another marketing label for a generation, well, I can’t help you because this is one label I’m living and so are many other people.
According to the Pew Research Center just over 1 out of every 8 Americans aged 30 to 60 is both raising a child and caring for a parent.
Last weekend I had a girlfriend from my childhood over to share some spectacular safari pictures she had taken during a recent trip to Africa. It was a once in a lifetime trip and I was excited to both see and hear about her journey.
Earlier in the day as I was travelling to my local market, I saw one of my neighbors who is a good friend of my mother. I told her about my plans for the evening and invited her over. Still later that afternoon as I was talking to my mother (we talk to each other several times a day), I encouraged her to come over.
So that evening I had my childhood girlfriend, my mother and father, my mother’s good friend, my kids and husband all together for an evening of good food and conversation. I couldn’t help but think about the fact that only say 25 years ago, the scenario would have included many of the people in the room, but the relationship would have been a different.
Instead of socializing together it would have been more like…”Mom, Angela and I are going to my room to look at her pictures.” Then we would have scuttled off for privacy and serious teen talk in my bedroom.
Fast forward 25 years and I feel like we’re all contemporaries. My mother and her friend were right in the middle of the discussion appreciating the exotic experiences of my girlfriend and just as excited as I was to hear about places like Zanzibar and Kenya. Who would have thought that two generations could be such great company for each other.
That’s where I differ with the standard definition of the Sandwich Generation. If you google it you’ll see frequent references to adult children who are in the position of being a caretaker for their parents. Well, my parents are very independent and while we enjoy living close to them so that we can get over to their place quickly if they need assistance with something like a stalled car or to shovel snow, I “enjoy” spending time with them not because I have to, but because I have a good time talking about life, their plans, my kids, the latest movie, a new recipe…the list is endless.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine, Annette Yen, wrote a very thoughtful post in her blog about the relationships we have with our parents. Please read it here, I think you’ll enjoy it.
Earth Hour 2008 – Fine Family Dining by Candlelight
On March 29, my family and some close friends joined other families and individuals across the world in making a statement about our environment and our role in it. We were part of the thousands (hopefully millions) who as part of Earth Hour 2008 turned off our electricity from 8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. to emphasize our ability to change our behaviors and find solutions, like conserving energy, to help reduce the damage we are doing to our environment.
I’m not always that punctual when it comes to meal preparation, yet on that night everything was done by 7:40 p.m. The Tilapia fish in herb and butter sauce, pasta, brocolli and tossed salad in Raspberry Wine Vinaigrette – all complete, nothing overcooked or burned (miracle!!).
My family and guests were seated by five minutes to 8…my son lit the candles as and we sat down to one of the most enjoyable dinners and conversations we’ve had in a long time.
Detatching ourselves for an hour from some of our unnecessary creature comforts like TV, video games, radios, etc. meant that a lot of us had to make plans to do things differently…like planning to eat together at the same time in one room in order to share the candle light. It was like we all couldn’t get to the dining table fast enough. And while I’d love to say the urgency was related to my scrumptious cooking, I think it had more to do with the notion and excitement that we were doing a very little thing that was part of a big thing for our world.
We were activists by candlelight! We all should take 60-minutes like this more often don’t you think?
Religion in Our Lives
Today, Good Friday, is just about the most important day in the Christian calendar. Most of our world religions have days and periods in the calendar that have special significance. What I find wonderful is that people of different religions or no religion are still able to acknowledge these events whether as a matter respect to others or out of their own sense of interest, wonder or basic humanity.
No question that we are as a “world nation” unique people brought to levels of passion, emotion and even irrationality because of our religion. We fight in the name of religion, and we love in the name of religion. Hopefully one day we’ll get it right. In the meantime for those people that have the freedom to worship as they please and to acknowledge other religions, as they please, I hope you’ll appreciate that gift and take the time to acknowledge how important today is to Christian people.
Good Friday commemorates the day Jesus was crucified on the cross. Sunday we’ll celebrate his resurrection and have our Easter celebration. Even for people who are not Christian or even religious, the notion of celebrating life after death is one that predates Christianity.
For those who are interested, here are some traditions that will be followed today, especially in my home as we’re Catholic.
We’ll attend Church this afternoon for the Good Friday service where there will be a re-enactment of the Passion of Christ. This act is in fact the Church community’s way of commemorating the redemption of the world through Jesus’ arrest, trial, crucifixion and suffering, death and burial. The cross will be covered and all altar candles will be extinguished. Today will be a day of mourning and fasting.
But beyond the tradition and rituals above, is the very act of stopping our day to day material world “stuff” to take a moment to think and ponder about life in this world in a different way. Hopefully we will think about what we are here in this world to do, what responsibilities we have to fellow man/woman, and how special everyone of us is – no matter our color or creed or location.
There is a sense of love and connectedness that expresses itself to people around the world in different ways and in that I find hope and peace.
Baby It’s Cold Outside
This morning we received a literal truckload of snow. I love it! Made my husband a cup of coffee, put on my Christmas music and gazed out our bay window while the mister shoveled the driveway.
My kids are loving it too and are praying for a snow day tomorrow. For those with kids too young for school or who haven’t had the pleasure of a school snow day – this means no school and you better find something for your kids to do.
I had to shake my head. I’m sure we use to get much more snow back when I was a kid and there were no “snow days.” I know I’m sounding like everyone’s grandparent talking about how rough things were in the good ‘ol days, but what’s with this mass hysteria the minute we get some snow?
Yes it makes driving a little treacherous, so you take your time. Basically if you live in the northern part of our continent, that’s just life at this time of year (unless we’re having one of our heat waves that are due to global warming).
This morning I tried to watch my regular Sunday morning network news show and it was preempted so that we could stare at the Boston local station’s no-name news crew repeat no less than 450 times that it was snowing outside. Totally annoying!
Well one good thing about days like this is it puts us in the mood to do all kinds of “seasonal” things that we often only talk about, like:
- Arranging to meet with friends we haven’t seen in a while
- Baking cookies for those friends and families that will be coming over
- Sitting inside, TOGETHER, with family over hot drinks and good CONVERSATION, and
- Thinking over the past year and making plans for business and personal goals for the new year
The Gift of the Present
Lately I’ve been having very long days between work, kids’ commitments after school, family visits and then again more work. It seems I’m out at the crack of dawn and back well after the sun has set.
We put so much effort into getting our home all comfy and welcoming for Christmas, but we’re hardly enjoying it ourselves.
When things get like this I develop such a yearning to just hunker down at home with my favorite people and things.
I’d like to end one of my work schedules early one day, call everyone home, put a tray of my favorite shortbread cookies in the oven, make a cup of hot chocolate with nutmeg, put on some beautiful Christmas music, and relax with family.
Sometimes we’re so busy getting ready for the holidays and laboring at projects so that we can enjoy the holidays, that we “busy” our way right THROUGH the season.
So here’s a friendly reminder…extend your holiday enjoyment by taking time, as soon as you can, to enjoy and appreciate the blessings that are present before you: your family, friends, home…and a good merlot!
Win a Color Printer
This comes under the heading: better late than never.
If you’re the kind of person who likes contests and could use a new Kodak Easy Share All-in-One Color printer read on.
The ladies over at Two Moms in a Blog are sponsoring a contest to win this great printer. Most of the activities took place in November but there are still a few activities still open so enter now to improve your chances of winning.
Moms and tots…and teens
The moment I delivered my first child was fantastic, blissful, etc. But the moment I got control of my hips back and mastered the use of the convertible stroller, I was truly a happy mama.
I took her to places I liked to visit in the city…the lakefront, lunches with friends, her dad’s office, her grandfather’s office, the post office. We strolled everywhere and she loved it!
I found it interesting to read that an entrepreneurial mom in New York has made the cultural interests of moms with babes her business. Former Manhattan investment banker, Molly Snyder has traveled across the country promoting her now popular “Metropolitan Moms.” MM serves as a sort of event planning outfit coordinating all kinds of neat activities for moms with babies.
The thinking is that there are so few opportunities for women to maintain their interests while caring for newborns. According to Philly.com, these groups offer city activities like gallery tours, ghost-themed architecture tours and behind-the-scenes tastings at several chocolate shops. Mmmm!
The only drawback I see is the cost. Some of these events are pricey. For instance, I see the group offers a series of 4 weekly cooking classes for $220!
Of course there are so many more affordable ways that you can do something that is appropriate for a baby but still appealing to your adult tastes.
Do your own tour of the sites in your town (museum, gardens, local farms, etc.). Now that the holiday’s are here, there are special displays and markets, craft shows and any number mom networking groups at community centers and places of worship. I know many moms still take their babes to book clubs they attended pre-baby. Talk it over with the intended group.
I have teens now, but I still include my kids in my interests. I drag them take them to conferences that I’m interested in and I am always so overjoyed at how thrilled they are to take a day off school join their dear old mom at these events.
Let Your Light Shine
I never grow tired of looking at homes all decked out for the holidays. Conservation is important but you have to admit homes lit up with lights are a boost to the spirit!
Perhaps some of the blinking “Vegas type” homes are a bit much and may be missing the point of all of this, but you can’t fault folks for stepping out of the ordinary to celebrate just a little with their community.
Homes decorated with holiday trimmings are like a warm public greeting to people who pass by. Regardless of your religious affiliation or non-affiliation, the pure human desire to share good wishes, kindness and joy with each other at this time of year is a welcome change. I’m certain this all serves a good purpose that lasts long into the new year.
And just when we begin to forget the feeling we’ve generated, we get to repeat it all over again.
The Season for Dressing Up and Going Out
Are you taking advantage of the wonderful evening events in your town new urban mom?
After we had kids our evening social life took a serious dive. We’d make the odd feeble attempt to go out on the town but between arranging for baby sitters and me slowly growing out of my slinky evening clothes, “stepping out” became “staying in.”
During the last few years we’ve re-awakened our glamour puss selves and made the effort to dress up for a night out.
During the holidays there are even more wonderful opportunities to make it a dressy family night out. Before you start frowning just think about it…
First there’s the Nutcracker Ballet. Don’t worry about falling asleep…there are outstanding productions out there to be seen and if you haven’t gone out much you’ll be so busy looking at all the new fashions and improvements they’ve made in theatre chairs that you should be able to survive the performance without napping.
I did a quick scan of some of the other neat Holiday activities going on in cities across the country that may give you more ideas. Read more
The Gift of IDEAS…
I start every holiday season with the best of intentions and they begin with the promise that all gifts will be purchased before December 1 so that I can ENJOY the holiday season.
You know what they say about best laid plans. Well this year I zeroed in on the problem.
When it comes down to actually buying gifts for certain people like my mom, my best friend, and my teen daughter I freeze somewhere between entering the store and the checkout. The reason for my immobility is rooted in one of three things:
1. The gift the person really wants is too expensive and my wallet won’t let me purchase it.
2. The gift the person really wants is no longer available and I can’t figure out what else to purchase.
3. I really don’t have a clue as to what this person might like at this time/age/period in their life.
Just as I was resigning myself to the fact that I would yet again disappoint some dear friend or relative with a gift they’d sooner return, I got an early “gift” from a friend whose business it is to know about all things retail.
Chele Neisler, a leading shopping guru for moms shared with me her 2007 Holiday Gift Ideas report. This is an excellent document filled with ideas for practical and affordable gifts that would appeal to a lot of people on your list. In this quick to read report Chele shares her gift idea tips and vendor preferences with all of us just in time for the holidays.
You don’t have to wait or fill in any forms to get this guide. Just click below to claim your guide right away!
I’m Also Here…
