Happy Mother’s Day

Welcome back!

Today may be a day that is really driven by the card companies and flower shops but you know what…I’ll take it! Happy Mother’s Day!

Whether you are a mom or you have one that is patiently waiting for her breakfast in bed, a hug and a card or a longed for phone call – we all can relate to the whole notion of motherhood.

For me motherhood was like Christmas. Something I waited for and something that I knew was going to move me beyond anything else I had experienced in my life.

The first time I held my child I couldn’t believe this warm bundle looking up at me had come about because of the love I had for the fellow next to me. I remember waking up at night just so I could go and stare at her breathing being ever so thankful that I was blessed with this child.

The experience was just as sweet with my second child. Yesterday he reluctantly showed me a cut on his thigh that he had been concealing from this week’s rugby game. Instantly I wanted to go tend to it. But you know he stopped me because he had followed all the steps of cleaning and tending to it already. Yes they grow up fast.

Thankfully I also have my own mother to go and give some love to today. The picture above is shot of her peonies I took last year.  They remind me of her.

This has been a week for emotion. Yesterday my daughter showed me a black and white photo she had taken recently of my mom for her photography class.

That brought me to tears. The picture is beautiful and captures her in mid conversation with my daughter. She’s not dressed up (as she is usually is) – it is one of those very natural pictures that you want to lock in your mind. Her expression has that tender look that comes on her face when she is talking to her grandkids. It is hard to explain but I know it when I see it. Perhaps you know what I mean. It’s that look of special, endearing love.

Whether your mom is with you today or not, I hope you have her near you in your heart and mind.

Not Zuzu’s Petals but Suri’s LadyBug Shoes

If you’re not a fan of the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” then the “Zuzu’s petals” reference in today’s post title will mean little to you. But if you are even partially conscious and watch television then you know all about Tom Cruise’s little girl Suri and his recent appearance on Oprah showing Suri’s little “Ladybug shoes.”

If you’ve got a little girl in your family who might love to wiggle her toes in these shoes or if you ‘d just like to get some great fashion items for boys or girls, then you’re in luck.

I’m hosting a prize give away courtesy of the mom owned boutique that sold those little lady bug shoes and other items to Tom Cruise’s family. The store is called Skimbaco. It’s a wonderful boutique in Colorado owned and operated by young mom of three Katja Presnal. Katja is giving away $30 Gift Certificates to a few lucky readers so they can choose from among her fabulous selection of products and fashions for the whole family. Whether you’re interested in purchasing the “Monkey-Toes Little Ladies Ladybug Mary Janes” or something else from the wide selection of boys and girls and mens and womens fashions and products, you’re bound to find something to your liking.

The great news is the New Urban Mom blog is one of the few blogs selected to offer this give away!

To get your name entered into the Skimbaco $30 Gift Certificate Contest being given away on this blog simply visit Skimbaco to view their amazing products (added bonus: they are having a sale right now). Come back to this blog and leave a comment listing your favorite Skimbaco product.

That’s it! Easy as pie!

I’ll announce the winner on May 15

Edited to add: The boutique, Skimbaco will only be able to ship to U.S. residents – so you won’t be able to win unless you’re in the U.S. Sorry!

UPDATE:  WE HAVE A WINNER – SEE THE MAY 15TH POST UNDER “CONTEST”

The Sunday Recharge

We’ve had rain the last couple days and like most mornings following a rainy evening, it was slightly misty and very quiet and still outside. Usually the birds are up with me (5:00 a.m.) but this morning they seemed to be sleeping in. By about 5:45 their chirps became a little more frequent.

For an old neighborhood with a lot of mature trees that attract many birds, I was a little surprised by the relative silence this morning. It was like everyone, including the birds, was recharging.

Thank goodness for Sundays. I know many people still have to work and hopefully they have other days off in the week. But for the majority of us Sunday is a much needed day to connect with our families and enjoy a day without tight schedules and appointments.

Any of you who took English 101 in college may be familiar with the following spring poem by William Wordsworth. I thought I’d share. (See kids you do end up having some use for the subjects taught to you in school!)

Daffodils

William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills.
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a boy:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company;
I gazed–and gazed–but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Bringing Some Wonder into Business, Life

Do you ever think about the things in your life that give you pause to sigh, wonder and just step back from your every day “busyness”? Well I just came back from a conference located near one of the world’s natural wonders and it reminded me of something that I don’t do enough and that is open myself to the feeling of “wonder.”

I was at a conference located practically on top of Niagara Falls (the Canadian side). My hotel room actually opened up to a full-face view of the falls. Each morning I’d wake up before sunrise, go to my bank of windows and slide open the door to hear the gush of the falls.

It’s the kind of thing I preferred doing in the wee hours of the morning since at that time there was no vehicular traffic to interfere with the powerful distinctive sound of 35 million gallons of water per minute gushing down the 180 ft drop that is Niagara falls.

It is an awe inspiring sight to take in with all the senses.

That time I took each morning to breath in the air, gaze at the falls and listen to the enormous power and potential of mother nature gave me such sense of amazement and at the same time a sense of calm.

It was like being frozen by incomprehensible beauty and at the same time becoming energized by the knowledge that my world includes this natural wonder.

After this morning routine, I’d go through my ideas and plans for the day with clarity and purpose. I think the sight of the falls gave me perspective on my little world. It wasn’t so little anymore – there is so much beauty and grace beyond what we know in our everyday interactions. The best part is much of the “wonder” in this world is there for us to discover, if we take the time to look.

You may not have the falls in your morning view, but there may be a toddler within range whose laugh can set your day straight. Or maybe if you look not too far there are exquisite lilac blossoms exploding with the life and color of the season and they may give you pause to “wonder.”

Maybe what inspires you is just the opportunity to start another day with those you love close by or the ability to do the work you love at home or in your community. The important thing, I think, is to hang on to that sense of wonder and joy in the everyday, good things in your life that can be so easily overlooked only to be appreciated too late.

Moms and Dads – Your Last Assignment: TEENS

After a child is born both parents and kids become the stars of the family. Hey we brought new life into the world and the future seems bright.

Then come the comic years…toddlers and primary school aged kids are so cute. They do say the funniest things and they keep us in stitches as they learn to eat human style, walk, string together sensible and non-sensible sentences (those ones are the best!) and give us their unconditional tantrums and love.

Well Moms and Dads…just as you feel you’ve done an exceptional job with your assignment as new parents you are promoted to the next level: PARENTS OF TEENAGERS – MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Of course I’m joking it’s not impossible and for me this period has offered some of the most endearing experiences as a parent. But like most, I have had my days.

I look at how hard some teens work at their academics, sports and friendships and I’m moved to happy tears when they succeed. My own two have grown so much and developed into such really good people and human beings.

On the other hand I really hurt for those teens that I know aren’t being heard or haven’t been given the tools and encouragement by those that love them to become confident individuals. As a community I think it is a concern for all of us.

Without that confidence teenage years can be tough and our young people can make some of the worst mistakes of their lives. They can also make some of the best decisions of their lives. As the men and women who love them we have our own jobs to do with respect to the development of our teens.

Healthy teen self esteem is first nurtured at home. A secure home life, supportive parents and a reliable extended family provide the launching point that allows children to thrive. From there it’s a safe school environment and positive peer relationships that further affirm their feelings of being valuable to others.

If a teens home life offers more negative feedback than positive nurturing, it is nearly impossible for that child to come through puberty feeling good about themselves.

Teenagers who don’t have a strong sense of personal value from their parents are left viewing themselves through the critical eyes of their peers. And what they see there is often disappointing.

Making embarrassing mistakes, feeling clumsy, going through the first love heart break or not doing everything right the first time is all part of being a teenager. But a teen with low self esteem takes every stumble personally and internalizes the failure as being part of who they are.

That’s why it is so important to help our kids survive their mistakes and deal with disappointments from an early age. Positive teen self esteem is crucial. The best way to improve your teen’s self-esteem is to take a very active role in your teen’s life.

It’s hard work when you have a job and your own issues to manage, but you brought this bright light into the world and it is up to you–and really “us” as a community–to ensure that bright light shines. Know your teen’s interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, so that you’ll be aware of any problems that may arise. You don’t have to become the gestapo but you could gain a lot of knowledge about your teen just through conversation.

If you have a teenager who is struggling with low self esteem, you have to take every opportunity to remind your son or daughter of what value they are to you and to others. Provide them with opportunities to be with people who will build them up and encourage them.

For more information and support about parenting your teen see the resources offered by Aurelia Williams who is a certified Parenting Coach and author of How You Can Help Your Teen To Be Successful In High School.

Buying and Selling vs. Buying and Living

Well now that so many homeowners have over renovated and over purchased, the housing market bust is doing a couple things for us.

It’s bringing prices back down to the chagrin of many who paid too much but to the great joy of those who can now ENTER the housing market or finally move to the home they’ve always wanted and that is now within their means.

For the rest of us maybe it’s time for us to just enjoy LIVING in our homes.

For a fresh change of pace why not regard your home not as a place that needs this or that upgraded, but as a place that thank God you own and now have some security for your family. Put a halt on the spending and focus on the people around you in your community.

Are there ways for you to get more involved in your town/city to further some activity or issue that will make life better for everyone living there? How are your public schools doing – might your feedback help?

Are you happy with your parks and recreational facilities and is there something you could do to push a project along?  Speaking of recreation maybe this is the year you join a softball/baseball league.  I haven’t played in over 25 years but I use to love it and my girlfriend has been on me for too long to join our local ladies’ softball league.

Is there a spring festival coming up that you or your kids might want to be part of?

We actually purchased a booth at our community’s spring festival last year and promoted framed black and white photographs of historic homes in our community.  The pictures were taken by my teen daughter.  It was really a lot of fun and my teen earned some money to boot!

Community living can be so satisfying if we just take the time to look at where we live as the center of what gives us joy or can give us joy in our lives.

For the Lawn Obsessed

Last night as we watched TV I lost my husband for a few minutes as he sat mesmerized watching some lawnmower ad.  I asked if he was looking forward to getting back to cutting the lawn and he said “Yes” with far more passion and excitement than I had seen in a looong time!

It seems he is like many men-folk around the country that get some pleasure and pride in creating and maintaining their lawns.  So in the spirit of the season and to equip you with some info that will grab the attention of the lawn obsessed people in your home, here are some tips.

Clean out your Beds!

I hate doing this but it has to be done.  Dig out and remove thatch buildup in your beds and power-rake your lawn to support new growth.

Avoid Chemical Fertilizers

By now we all know chemical fertilizers are dangerous to our health and that of the environment.  Did you know that over 70 million tons of fertilizers are pesticides are applied to residential lawns and gardens annually?  According to the U.S. National Wildlife Federation in those areas wshere pesticides are used, 60-90% of earthworms are killed–earthworms help to make our soil healthy.

So it’s a good idea to look into ways to avoid the use of chemical fertilizers.  The best way is to keep a healthy lawn that is naturally resistant to weeds.  You can do that by:

• Improving your soil – take a sample of your soil to your local nursery and ask them to give you an assessment of your soil.  They may test the soil’s pH (which should be between 6.5 and 7.0).
• Chosse grasses that are grown locally: If you grow grass that is naturally adapted to your region you shouldn’t have to add a lot of extra nutrients or water to it.
• Mow often but don’t cut the long too short because surface roots will become exposed and cause the soil to dry out faster.
• Water thoroughly but not too often.

The Sandwich Generation

I had a “Sandwich Generation” moment over the weekend that was bittersweet.  For those of you tired of yet another marketing label for a generation, well, I can’t help you because this is one label I’m living and so are many other people.

According to the Pew Research Center just over 1 out of every 8 Americans aged 30 to 60 is both raising a child and caring for a parent.   

Last weekend I had a girlfriend from my childhood over to share some spectacular safari pictures she had taken during a recent trip to Africa.  It was a once in a lifetime trip and I was excited to both see and hear about her journey.

Earlier in the day as I was travelling to my local market, I saw one of my neighbors who is a good friend of my mother.  I told her about my plans for the evening and invited her over. Still later that afternoon as I was talking to my mother (we talk to each other several times a day), I encouraged her to come over. 

So that evening I had my childhood girlfriend, my mother and father, my mother’s good friend, my kids and husband all together for an evening of good food and conversation.  I couldn’t help but think about the fact that only say 25 years ago, the scenario would have included many of the people in the room, but the relationship would have been a different.

Instead of socializing together it would have been more like…”Mom, Angela and I are going to my room to look at her pictures.” Then we would have scuttled off for privacy and serious teen talk in my bedroom.

Fast forward 25 years and I feel like we’re all contemporaries.  My mother and her friend were right in the middle of the discussion appreciating the exotic experiences of my girlfriend and just as excited as I was to hear about places like Zanzibar and Kenya.   Who would have thought that two generations could be such great company for each other.

That’s where I differ with the standard definition of the Sandwich Generation.  If you google it you’ll see frequent references to adult children who are in the position of being a caretaker for their parents.  Well, my parents are very independent and while we enjoy living close to them so that we can get over to their place quickly if they need assistance with something like a stalled car or to shovel snow, I “enjoy” spending time with them not because I have to, but because I have a good time talking about life, their plans, my kids, the latest movie, a new recipe…the list is endless.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine, Annette Yen, wrote a very thoughtful post in her blog about the relationships we have with our parents.  Please read it here, I think you’ll enjoy it.

Earth Hour 2008 – Fine Family Dining by Candlelight

On March 29, my family and some close friends joined other families and individuals across the world in making a statement about our environment and our role in it. We were part of the thousands (hopefully millions) who as part of Earth Hour 2008 turned off our electricity from 8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. to emphasize our ability to change our behaviors and find solutions, like conserving energy, to help reduce the damage we are doing to our environment.

I’m not always that punctual when it comes to meal preparation, yet on that night everything was done by 7:40 p.m. The Tilapia fish in herb and butter sauce, pasta, brocolli and tossed salad in Raspberry Wine Vinaigrette – all complete, nothing overcooked or burned (miracle!!).

My family and guests were seated by five minutes to 8…my son lit the candles as and we sat down to one of the most enjoyable dinners and conversations we’ve had in a long time.

Detatching ourselves for an hour from some of our unnecessary creature comforts like TV, video games, radios, etc. meant that a lot of us had to make plans to do things differently…like planning to eat together at the same time in one room in order to share the candle light. It was like we all couldn’t get to the dining table fast enough. And while I’d love to say the urgency was related to my scrumptious cooking, I think it had more to do with the notion and excitement that we were doing a very little thing that was part of a big thing for our world.

We were activists by candlelight! We all should take 60-minutes like this more often don’t you think?

Religion in Our Lives

Today, Good Friday, is just about the most important day in the Christian calendar. Most of our world religions have days and periods in the calendar that have special significance. What I find wonderful is that people of different religions or no religion are still able to acknowledge these events whether as a matter respect to others or out of their own sense of interest, wonder or basic humanity.

No question that we are as a “world nation” unique people brought to levels of passion, emotion and even irrationality because of our religion. We fight in the name of religion, and we love in the name of religion. Hopefully one day we’ll get it right. In the meantime for those people that have the freedom to worship as they please and to acknowledge other religions, as they please, I hope you’ll appreciate that gift and take the time to acknowledge how important today is to Christian people.

Good Friday commemorates the day Jesus was crucified on the cross. Sunday we’ll celebrate his resurrection and have our Easter celebration. Even for people who are not Christian or even religious, the notion of celebrating life after death is one that predates Christianity.

For those who are interested, here are some traditions that will be followed today, especially in my home as we’re Catholic.

We’ll attend Church this afternoon for the Good Friday service where there will be a re-enactment of the Passion of Christ. This act is in fact the Church community’s way of commemorating the redemption of the world through Jesus’ arrest, trial, crucifixion and suffering, death and burial. The cross will be covered and all altar candles will be extinguished. Today will be a day of mourning and fasting.

But beyond the tradition and rituals above, is the very act of stopping our day to day material world “stuff” to take a moment to think and ponder about life in this world in a different way. Hopefully we will think about what we are here in this world to do, what responsibilities we have to fellow man/woman, and how special everyone of us is – no matter our color or creed or location.

There is a sense of love and connectedness that expresses itself to people around the world in different ways and in that I find hope and peace.

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