Graduation Joy

What makes our communities so special are the interests we share and the bonds that develop because of it. Don’t underestimate it. Those bonds help to shape your community in ways that can enhance your family’s development, build your career or business, and ultimately help the wider community at large.

Last night I witnessed how the love of community and friendship really shapes a young person for the future. Our eldest graduated from high school. Yes that was an emotional moment. Not only was my little baby graduating from the very school I graduated from more than 2 decades ago, but I saw in her and her friends the same joy, excitement and anticipation for the future that I had so long ago and carry with me to this day.

As the valedictorian for her class said “We’re at the peak of our lives!”. She encouraged her “sisters” to be kind and compassionate citizens of the world and to remember their training and preparation to be responsible and conscious women in a world that needs them.

This is a community of young women who are going to change the face of the world for the better - just like millions of other young people around the world.

As I looked at my daughter hugging her girlfriends with all her might, I felt joy in the community she was blessed to be part of during her 4 years of high school and such appreciation for the common bond they built that was not only about themselves but about all that they plan to give as loving people and stewards of this world.

Congratulations to Hannah Jane and the SJMP Graduating Class of 2008!

Tags: Education, Family Life, Featured, New Urbanism, community, education, graduation, high school

Father’s Day Blossoms

Blossoms that we’ve been waiting to open all week decided to make their grand entrance on Father’s Day. How appropriate given the loving care that they’ve received from the Dad in this household.

In today’s post I’ve included pictures of our just opening peonies and other blossoms including those from our weigela bush and the other bush beside it with the cream colored blossoms that I can’t remember the name of at the moment…Feel free to post if you recognize this plant.

Sunny Sunday’s like today make me wish for year-round weather like this. I know come August I’ll change my tune as soon as I sense the brisk changes in the breeze that signal fall is coming. I love fall. But for now I’m so in love with this warm, hazy weather and the colorful explosion of blossoms that makes our garden come alive!

I hope you had a moment to share some warm words or thoughts with or about your father today.

Tags: Family Life, Featured, Holidays, New Urbanism, family, garden, holidays

Dealing Effectively with Major Changes in Our Lives

Being a mom today can be exhilarating, joyful, maddening and anxiety ridden–often all at once. We deal with demands from various corners of our communities including our families, our clients, our employers, our girlfriends, our neighbors and ourselves.

Most of those demands and issues we can address without too much inner stress. But how well do each of us manage major transitions in our lives?

We all experience significant changes at various times from having a baby, to starting a business, to ending a marriage - major life changes can take many forms. Sometimes change drops into our lives unannounced and at other times it is as inevitable as the rain. What is certain is that life transitions can affect us at many levels–sometimes causing physical symptoms that serve as a wake up call.

How we deal with the impact of this kind of change can be very important to our health, our happiness and our families. Today’s show will examine 6 ways to deal effectively with major life transitions in our lives.

Don’t forget to listen for the “secret phrase” - this is the last week to enter Moms Talk Radio’s May ipod contest. Once you hear me say the secret phrase, write it down and enter it in the “Listen to Win” form at the bottom of the page at www.momstalkradio.com. Good luck!

Tags: Family Life, Featured, Health, New Urbanism, Podcast

New Urbanism: A 60s Dream Come to Life

I’m a 60’s baby with all kinds of ideas and opinions that I’m sure were shaped by the “groovy” generation that taught me in grade school, the explosion of the civil rights movement and…episodes of Star Trek.

This week my daughter was watching some cable station that was airing old Star Trek programs and she was keeling over with laughter at the exaggerated acting and the “peculiar” story lines.  Always trying to find a teaching moment, I explained to her that Star Trek was really a tongue in cheek program that was providing commentary on the current times which was the 60’s.

Trekky  story lines dealt with social issues that were becoming explosive during those groovy sixties. Issues like racial and gender equality and authoritarianism vs. freedom of personal expression.

I bring all this up to highlight that the attributes of good, new urbanism communities we celebrate today - walkable and eco-friendly communities intentionally built to support our personal, work and recreational  “priorities”  - is in all likelihood a natural by-product of that 60’s generation.

Today we have the freedom to ask those questions that would have seemed, well, counter cultural in the 50’s and early 60’s.

Today it is perfectly normal to ask questions like: How can I (mom or dad) work from home so that I can be near my children?  How can I work out a telecommuting plan with my employer so that I can cut out that daily, hour-long drive and help out the environment at the same time ?  

We’ve finally realized that compartmentalizing our lives is killing us and keeping us out of touch with the living things in our world that really give us energy, purpose and health–our families, friends, and a healthy, “green” environment. 

I think it’s fair to say that life in our integrated, new urbanism communities is pretty groovey!

Tags: Family Life, Featured, New Urbanism

Going from 2 Cars to 1 - The Green Family Way

It has been almost a year since we decided to forgo being a 2-car family. Some of the benefits we’ve realized have been pretty significant and they are not all financial.

First the obvious. Having one car payment versus two has saved us a significant amount over the year. But it has taken some change and some sacrifice. We have to coordinate our schedule a little differently and we use the public transit a lot more.

So if I have to take a trip to someone’s office or to a meeting location that is outside of our normal daily route, I might keep the car and my husband would use public transit or vice versa. It all depends on how far the destination is from public transit.

This is a why I get a little frustrated with the delays and endless regional discussions about how and whether there will be more integrated transit systems in our region. If there is clean, safe, reliable transit in suburban and urban areas people will use it. Period. I know debates like this are happening across the country.  I just can’t figure why it takes so long in some communities to become a reality.

I absolutely hate sitting in traffic. I don’t know anyone that does. Give us the option of taking environmentally friendly and reliable public transit and stop quibbling.

The other “sacrifice” associated with us becoming a one car family is that we have to be a little more structured in our schedules - especially in the morning. We all leave together in the morning at the same time so that we can drop the kids off at their high schools. There are exceptions where I or my husband have to be somewhere earlier or later and in those instances we just take the transit.

But I’d say the sacrifice part is felt by the teens a little more acutley as they don’t have the luxury of sleeping in some mornings. By sleeping in I mean sleeping past 6 a.m. They call it cruel and unusual punishment. I tell them it builds character. I use that answer for a lot of things. I’m not claiming it works, but I like saying it.

That leads me to one of the key benefits of having one car. It has forced us to travel together in the morning with our teens and we have found that hour or so of getting ready and driving off to our series of destinations has been a great time for family discussion and general catch-up on each others’ lives.

I know many people find dinner allows them to have good conversation with family. That is true for us only on the weekends.  Given that our kids are involved in sports and music lessons in the evening, when we do eat dinner together during the week it is often late and our conversation is rarely that energetic. We’re usually so tired it’s just a chance for light talk and then off to do homework.

Our most energetic chit chat takes place in the kitchen as we eat breakfast and then in the van as we drive to the kids’ schools.

As for coming home…we use a combination of transit, our vehicle and grandparents who are only too happy to take in a game of Rugby or whatever sports team my son is on as they wait to carry him home.

We feel really good not just about the few extra hundred dollars that we have in our savings account each month as a result of not having a 2nd car, but we also feel good about not adding to the vehicular pollution in the environment.

We are not located in the urban core which has all kinds of transit options - we’re in a smaller urban community. Our transit system enables us to make greener life choices.

It enables my 15 year old son to get to his part time job. It gives my daughter the option of taking the transit to and from her piano lessons. Walking is also an option, but depending on the time of day and weather conditions transit is often a convenient choice that is far less expensive then revving up the van.

What’s the public transit service like in your community? If it is insufficient, unreliable, or unsafe speak up about it to your political representatives. Make it an issue that is important to your community. Entrepreneurs, young professionals, retired people and so many others can benefit from the existence of reliable, clean transit that can keep us connected and cut our heavy consumption and reliance on fuel.

Tags: Family Life, Green Living, New Urbanism

Happy Mother’s Day

Today may be a day that is really driven by the card companies and flower shops but you know what…I’ll take it! Happy Mother’s Day!

Whether you are a mom or you have one that is patiently waiting for her breakfast in bed, a hug and a card or a longed for phone call - we all can relate to the whole notion of motherhood.

For me motherhood was like Christmas. Something I waited for and something that I knew was going to move me beyond anything else I had experienced in my life.

The first time I held my child I couldn’t believe this warm bundle looking up at me had come about because of the love I had for the fellow next to me. I remember waking up at night just so I could go and stare at her breathing being ever so thankful that I was blessed with this child.

The experience was just as sweet with my second child. Yesterday he reluctantly showed me a cut on his thigh that he had been concealing from this week’s rugby game. Instantly I wanted to go tend to it. But you know he stopped me because he had followed all the steps of cleaning and tending to it already. Yes they grow up fast.

Thankfully I also have my own mother to go and give some love to today. The picture above is shot of her peonies I took last year.  They remind me of her.

This has been a week for emotion. Yesterday my daughter showed me a black and white photo she had taken recently of my mom for her photography class.

That brought me to tears. The picture is beautiful and captures her in mid conversation with my daughter. She’s not dressed up (as she is usually is) - it is one of those very natural pictures that you want to lock in your mind. Her expression has that tender look that comes on her face when she is talking to her grandkids. It is hard to explain but I know it when I see it. Perhaps you know what I mean. It’s that look of special, endearing love.

Whether your mom is with you today or not, I hope you have her near you in your heart and mind.

Tags: Family Life, New Urbanism

Not Zuzu’s Petals but Suri’s LadyBug Shoes

If you’re not a fan of the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” then the “Zuzu’s petals” reference in today’s post title will mean little to you. But if you are even partially conscious and watch television then you know all about Tom Cruise’s little girl Suri and his recent appearance on Oprah showing Suri’s little “Ladybug shoes.”

If you’ve got a little girl in your family who might love to wiggle her toes in these shoes or if you ‘d just like to get some great fashion items for boys or girls, then you’re in luck.

I’m hosting a prize give away courtesy of the mom owned boutique that sold those little lady bug shoes and other items to Tom Cruise’s family. The store is called Skimbaco. It’s a wonderful boutique in Colorado owned and operated by young mom of three Katja Presnal. Katja is giving away $30 Gift Certificates to a few lucky readers so they can choose from among her fabulous selection of products and fashions for the whole family. Whether you’re interested in purchasing the “Monkey-Toes Little Ladies Ladybug Mary Janes” or something else from the wide selection of boys and girls and mens and womens fashions and products, you’re bound to find something to your liking.

The great news is the New Urban Mom blog is one of the few blogs selected to offer this give away!

To get your name entered into the Skimbaco $30 Gift Certificate Contest being given away on this blog simply visit Skimbaco to view their amazing products (added bonus: they are having a sale right now). Come back to this blog and leave a comment listing your favorite Skimbaco product.

That’s it! Easy as pie!

I’ll announce the winner on May 15

Edited to add: The boutique, Skimbaco will only be able to ship to U.S. residents - so you won’t be able to win unless you’re in the U.S. Sorry!

UPDATE:  WE HAVE A WINNER - SEE THE MAY 15TH POST UNDER “CONTEST”

Tags: Contest, Family Life, Featured, New Urbanism

The Sunday Recharge

We’ve had rain the last couple days and like most mornings following a rainy evening, it was slightly misty and very quiet and still outside. Usually the birds are up with me (5:00 a.m.) but this morning they seemed to be sleeping in. By about 5:45 their chirps became a little more frequent.

For an old neighborhood with a lot of mature trees that attract many birds, I was a little surprised by the relative silence this morning. It was like everyone, including the birds, was recharging.

Thank goodness for Sundays. I know many people still have to work and hopefully they have other days off in the week. But for the majority of us Sunday is a much needed day to connect with our families and enjoy a day without tight schedules and appointments.

Any of you who took English 101 in college may be familiar with the following spring poem by William Wordsworth. I thought I’d share. (See kids you do end up having some use for the subjects taught to you in school!)

Daffodils

William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills.
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a boy:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company;
I gazed–and gazed–but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Tags: Family Life, Featured, New Urbanism, Your Home

Bringing Some Wonder into Business, Life

Do you ever think about the things in your life that give you pause to sigh, wonder and just step back from your every day “busyness”? Well I just came back from a conference located near one of the world’s natural wonders and it reminded me of something that I don’t do enough and that is open myself to the feeling of “wonder.”

I was at a conference located practically on top of Niagara Falls (the Canadian side). My hotel room actually opened up to a full-face view of the falls. Each morning I’d wake up before sunrise, go to my bank of windows and slide open the door to hear the gush of the falls.

It’s the kind of thing I preferred doing in the wee hours of the morning since at that time there was no vehicular traffic to interfere with the powerful distinctive sound of 35 million gallons of water per minute gushing down the 180 ft drop that is Niagara falls.

It is an awe inspiring sight to take in with all the senses.

That time I took each morning to breath in the air, gaze at the falls and listen to the enormous power and potential of mother nature gave me such sense of amazement and at the same time a sense of calm.

It was like being frozen by incomprehensible beauty and at the same time becoming energized by the knowledge that my world includes this natural wonder.

After this morning routine, I’d go through my ideas and plans for the day with clarity and purpose. I think the sight of the falls gave me perspective on my little world. It wasn’t so little anymore - there is so much beauty and grace beyond what we know in our everyday interactions. The best part is much of the “wonder” in this world is there for us to discover, if we take the time to look.

You may not have the falls in your morning view, but there may be a toddler within range whose laugh can set your day straight. Or maybe if you look not too far there are exquisite lilac blossoms exploding with the life and color of the season and they may give you pause to “wonder.”

Maybe what inspires you is just the opportunity to start another day with those you love close by or the ability to do the work you love at home or in your community. The important thing, I think, is to hang on to that sense of wonder and joy in the everyday, good things in your life that can be so easily overlooked only to be appreciated too late.

Tags: Family Life, New Urbanism, Your Work

Moms and Dads - Your Last Assignment: TEENS

After a child is born both parents and kids become the stars of the family. Hey we brought new life into the world and the future seems bright.

Then come the comic years…toddlers and primary school aged kids are so cute. They do say the funniest things and they keep us in stitches as they learn to eat human style, walk, string together sensible and non-sensible sentences (those ones are the best!) and give us their unconditional tantrums and love.

Well Moms and Dads…just as you feel you’ve done an exceptional job with your assignment as new parents you are promoted to the next level: PARENTS OF TEENAGERS - MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Of course I’m joking it’s not impossible and for me this period has offered some of the most endearing experiences as a parent. But like most, I have had my days.

I look at how hard some teens work at their academics, sports and friendships and I’m moved to happy tears when they succeed. My own two have grown so much and developed into such really good people and human beings.

On the other hand I really hurt for those teens that I know aren’t being heard or haven’t been given the tools and encouragement by those that love them to become confident individuals. As a community I think it is a concern for all of us.

Without that confidence teenage years can be tough and our young people can make some of the worst mistakes of their lives. They can also make some of the best decisions of their lives. As the men and women who love them we have our own jobs to do with respect to the development of our teens.

Healthy teen self esteem is first nurtured at home. A secure home life, supportive parents and a reliable extended family provide the launching point that allows children to thrive. From there it’s a safe school environment and positive peer relationships that further affirm their feelings of being valuable to others.

If a teens home life offers more negative feedback than positive nurturing, it is nearly impossible for that child to come through puberty feeling good about themselves.

Teenagers who don’t have a strong sense of personal value from their parents are left viewing themselves through the critical eyes of their peers. And what they see there is often disappointing.

Making embarrassing mistakes, feeling clumsy, going through the first love heart break or not doing everything right the first time is all part of being a teenager. But a teen with low self esteem takes every stumble personally and internalizes the failure as being part of who they are.

That’s why it is so important to help our kids survive their mistakes and deal with disappointments from an early age. Positive teen self esteem is crucial. The best way to improve your teen’s self-esteem is to take a very active role in your teen’s life.

It’s hard work when you have a job and your own issues to manage, but you brought this bright light into the world and it is up to you–and really “us” as a community–to ensure that bright light shines. Know your teen’s interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, so that you’ll be aware of any problems that may arise. You don’t have to become the gestapo but you could gain a lot of knowledge about your teen just through conversation.

If you have a teenager who is struggling with low self esteem, you have to take every opportunity to remind your son or daughter of what value they are to you and to others. Provide them with opportunities to be with people who will build them up and encourage them.

For more information and support about parenting your teen see the resources offered by Aurelia Williams who is a certified Parenting Coach and author of How You Can Help Your Teen To Be Successful In High School.

Tags: Family Life, Featured, New Urbanism

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