Rise of the Urban Middle-Class Mom

Welcome back!

If you’ve ever wondered about the kinds of issues that could turn middle to upper class urban moms into raving activists, here’s one for you.  Try closing their school operated pools.  In one large cosmopolitan city the school board recently determined that it could not afford to continue running it’s school operated pools as those funds were sorely needed elsewhere (like to help vulnerable or gifted kids to learn!). 

For the last month leading stories on regional TV, radio and major daily papers have been all about the horror associated with closing these school pools.  It took some savvy media relations to monopolize the airwaves and print media with this issue.

I’m not saying they should be closed, but I haven’t seen such activism from this group in a long time.  One of the local newspaper columnists (Jim Coyle, Toronto Star) had me rolling with this statement

To hear it told, school pools rank right up there on Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs – the very wellspring of self-actualization, esteem, love and belonging, safety and security, physiological health.

 

There must be native groups, anti-poverty, families of kids with special needs, adults needing ESL classes and others of worthy cause who wish they had half the ability and resources to mobilize, twist arms and gain attention.”

What are your thoughts?  If a school board was having difficulty meeting the basic needs of operation and determined that the only solution that would avoid damaging the educational quality of its programming was to close school operated pools, would you support the decision?

For me the upside of this story is that moms (and dads) have power – especially when they are organized.  Vital urban communities tend to attract and nurture very passionate and articulate parents.  It only takes a small group of committed residents to make an issue come alive.  Add some experience and media savvy to the mix and you have a community that can shake things up in their favor!

For me, this is why it is so important for troubled urban centers to attract new residents and commercial investment.  Without a mix of people who have the experience and skill in making their voices heard, a community is doomed to accept whatever comes its way.  Not a helpful notion given these dour economic times.

Stay organized, informed and engaged.  Our communities are in our hands.

Go urban/suburban moms!

Helping Our Kids Realize their Dreams: The College Decision

This spring our first born graduates from high school. It’s a day I’ve looked forward to since she was born. Mind you the reality of it didn’t hit home until about a year ago when we started looking at her university choices.

While graduation day is still about a month away and there are still tests and projects to complete before she’s actually a bona fide graduate, the college application system has had us preoccupied with forms, incentives and the “romance” of college life for about a year.

In fact, some of these schools do such a fantastic job of promoting their programs that you might find yourself changing your original plans.

We were initially looking at a really good state university (read: affordable!) for our daughter but after looking at some smaller 4-year degree schools that specialize in her area of study, we started to think a little differently.

And then we had the college tour. We had already been on a few campus tours of schools we had been discussing for a few years. But our final campus tour last fall was a little different. To begin with the school’s tuition was way beyond our budget plan.

But…that final tour ended up being an eye opening experience for one person in our family, perhaps the most important person. Our daughter – the intended student.

After the tour, it was like she woke up from being casually interested in college life to being absolutely inspired about the thought of spending 4 years so deeply immersed in her chosen field of study.

It wasn’t the look of the campus or the residence or anything superficial that got her hooked. It was the content of the programs, the professors who spoke during the visit, the admission counselor who answered her specific questions and most importantly the current students who actually lead the campus tour and shared their perspectives and experiences.

As much as I thought we already had our minds made up regarding our choices,we had to agree with her. That final college had the substantive curriculum and study environment that would in all likelihood best meet the particular strengths and interests of our daughter.

So here we are today re-jigging our lives to make this college choice work.

I often talk about work being an extension of my interests and passions in life and I continue to maintain that view point. But one truism about work that I think resonates with most people is that work is most satisfying when the fruit of our hard labor helps to enhance the lives of the people we love most.

Bringing Some Wonder into Business, Life

Do you ever think about the things in your life that give you pause to sigh, wonder and just step back from your every day “busyness”? Well I just came back from a conference located near one of the world’s natural wonders and it reminded me of something that I don’t do enough and that is open myself to the feeling of “wonder.”

I was at a conference located practically on top of Niagara Falls (the Canadian side). My hotel room actually opened up to a full-face view of the falls. Each morning I’d wake up before sunrise, go to my bank of windows and slide open the door to hear the gush of the falls.

It’s the kind of thing I preferred doing in the wee hours of the morning since at that time there was no vehicular traffic to interfere with the powerful distinctive sound of 35 million gallons of water per minute gushing down the 180 ft drop that is Niagara falls.

It is an awe inspiring sight to take in with all the senses.

That time I took each morning to breath in the air, gaze at the falls and listen to the enormous power and potential of mother nature gave me such sense of amazement and at the same time a sense of calm.

It was like being frozen by incomprehensible beauty and at the same time becoming energized by the knowledge that my world includes this natural wonder.

After this morning routine, I’d go through my ideas and plans for the day with clarity and purpose. I think the sight of the falls gave me perspective on my little world. It wasn’t so little anymore – there is so much beauty and grace beyond what we know in our everyday interactions. The best part is much of the “wonder” in this world is there for us to discover, if we take the time to look.

You may not have the falls in your morning view, but there may be a toddler within range whose laugh can set your day straight. Or maybe if you look not too far there are exquisite lilac blossoms exploding with the life and color of the season and they may give you pause to “wonder.”

Maybe what inspires you is just the opportunity to start another day with those you love close by or the ability to do the work you love at home or in your community. The important thing, I think, is to hang on to that sense of wonder and joy in the everyday, good things in your life that can be so easily overlooked only to be appreciated too late.

Podcast Show #4 – Hot Tips for Green Living & Business Growth

Not quite sure how to adopt green living behaviors into your life? You’ll want to listen to today’s show for the introductory green living primer – a short and easy overview of some practices you can start making a part of your regular routine.

And for business owners: Growing your business 10 helpful tips.

Share your feedback on today’s show here in the comment section. Remember to let me know about any eco-friendly lawn and garden products you use or can recommend!

The weekly link love list:

SnugglesPodcast.com

The Cravings Coach

Internet Marketing Sweetie

Moms and Dads – Your Last Assignment: TEENS

After a child is born both parents and kids become the stars of the family. Hey we brought new life into the world and the future seems bright.

Then come the comic years…toddlers and primary school aged kids are so cute. They do say the funniest things and they keep us in stitches as they learn to eat human style, walk, string together sensible and non-sensible sentences (those ones are the best!) and give us their unconditional tantrums and love.

Well Moms and Dads…just as you feel you’ve done an exceptional job with your assignment as new parents you are promoted to the next level: PARENTS OF TEENAGERS – MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Of course I’m joking it’s not impossible and for me this period has offered some of the most endearing experiences as a parent. But like most, I have had my days.

I look at how hard some teens work at their academics, sports and friendships and I’m moved to happy tears when they succeed. My own two have grown so much and developed into such really good people and human beings.

On the other hand I really hurt for those teens that I know aren’t being heard or haven’t been given the tools and encouragement by those that love them to become confident individuals. As a community I think it is a concern for all of us.

Without that confidence teenage years can be tough and our young people can make some of the worst mistakes of their lives. They can also make some of the best decisions of their lives. As the men and women who love them we have our own jobs to do with respect to the development of our teens.

Healthy teen self esteem is first nurtured at home. A secure home life, supportive parents and a reliable extended family provide the launching point that allows children to thrive. From there it’s a safe school environment and positive peer relationships that further affirm their feelings of being valuable to others.

If a teens home life offers more negative feedback than positive nurturing, it is nearly impossible for that child to come through puberty feeling good about themselves.

Teenagers who don’t have a strong sense of personal value from their parents are left viewing themselves through the critical eyes of their peers. And what they see there is often disappointing.

Making embarrassing mistakes, feeling clumsy, going through the first love heart break or not doing everything right the first time is all part of being a teenager. But a teen with low self esteem takes every stumble personally and internalizes the failure as being part of who they are.

That’s why it is so important to help our kids survive their mistakes and deal with disappointments from an early age. Positive teen self esteem is crucial. The best way to improve your teen’s self-esteem is to take a very active role in your teen’s life.

It’s hard work when you have a job and your own issues to manage, but you brought this bright light into the world and it is up to you–and really “us” as a community–to ensure that bright light shines. Know your teen’s interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, so that you’ll be aware of any problems that may arise. You don’t have to become the gestapo but you could gain a lot of knowledge about your teen just through conversation.

If you have a teenager who is struggling with low self esteem, you have to take every opportunity to remind your son or daughter of what value they are to you and to others. Provide them with opportunities to be with people who will build them up and encourage them.

For more information and support about parenting your teen see the resources offered by Aurelia Williams who is a certified Parenting Coach and author of How You Can Help Your Teen To Be Successful In High School.

To Commute or Not to Commute

As I travelled into the city yesterday I noticed a significant drop in car volume. It was probably just one of those urban demographic blips where people’s activities mysteriously align and a significant number of people don’t drive in. I’m sure the first decent warm day of the season had a lot to do with it too.

But then I thought again…

Could it be that many thought bubbles popped up above heads in this region with a conversation that went something like this: “SUNSHINE….Oh happy day. Can I bear the traffic, and the frustration of commuter life today? Nope. Not today. In fact…maybe not again. Today’s the day I pick up my blocks and find a way to work a little closer to home. In my community. Maybe for myself.”

Of course I don’t really know what folks said as they struggled out of their jammies but my unscientific research using friends and reviewing reports tells me that a good percentage of people daydreaming about starting a business closer to where they live aren’t joking and are more than daydreaming about it. They’re doing it.

Money Magazine reported recently that every 11 seconds someone starts a home based business that allows them to work at home. Also 20% of work at home businesses gross between 100K and 500K per year.

There are other statistics from the US Small Business Administration that give even more credibility to those numbers – over 30 million people in the U.S. work at home and of those businesses 70% last over a three year period compared to 29% of other business start ups.

This tells me that qualified and knowledgeable people are taking the entrepreneurial plunge and are working solo or in small businesses in their homes/communities. Why? Could it be the traffic congestion that kicks one’s day off to a crappy start? Or perhaps there are children in the household that cease to recognize that tired parent slipping into the house at night to eat, “zombie-talk,” and sleep only to rise 6 hours later to repeat the whole exercise all over again.

More and more people are saying “there’s got to be a better way” and they are finding it! I don’t know how many actually succeed at replacing their income, but it sure sounds like money is becoming less of a driving factor and quality of life is. The way this economy is looking more people may have to start examining  what’s before them in their lives that is good instead of what more is out there for them to get.

New Urban Mom Podcast – Show #3: Living in the Moment

On this week’s show we talk about living in the moment and taking the time to appreciate gifts like a new season, or the conversation of the person sitting next to us at home and all the day to day stuff that we sometimes take for granted but are really the “feature show” part of our lives.

Our guest this week is Chele Neisler of Moms Love Shopping and Chele’s Treasures. During the show, Chele tells us more about shopping locally and her experience in becoming a wise, frugal and conscious shopper.

Following is my weekly link love list (or sites I think you’ll enjoy visiting)

The Household Helper

Vegan Family Living

Beauty By Design Online

 

Buying and Selling vs. Buying and Living

Well now that so many homeowners have over renovated and over purchased, the housing market bust is doing a couple things for us.

It’s bringing prices back down to the chagrin of many who paid too much but to the great joy of those who can now ENTER the housing market or finally move to the home they’ve always wanted and that is now within their means.

For the rest of us maybe it’s time for us to just enjoy LIVING in our homes.

For a fresh change of pace why not regard your home not as a place that needs this or that upgraded, but as a place that thank God you own and now have some security for your family. Put a halt on the spending and focus on the people around you in your community.

Are there ways for you to get more involved in your town/city to further some activity or issue that will make life better for everyone living there? How are your public schools doing – might your feedback help?

Are you happy with your parks and recreational facilities and is there something you could do to push a project along?  Speaking of recreation maybe this is the year you join a softball/baseball league.  I haven’t played in over 25 years but I use to love it and my girlfriend has been on me for too long to join our local ladies’ softball league.

Is there a spring festival coming up that you or your kids might want to be part of?

We actually purchased a booth at our community’s spring festival last year and promoted framed black and white photographs of historic homes in our community.  The pictures were taken by my teen daughter.  It was really a lot of fun and my teen earned some money to boot!

Community living can be so satisfying if we just take the time to look at where we live as the center of what gives us joy or can give us joy in our lives.

The Leap from Employee to Entrepreneur

A colleague of mine has just given notice to her employer in order to devote herself more fully to her growing business.

From what I can tell she feels relieved, happy and “unleashed.” No I don’t think she’s got a secret pot of cash at home to make the transition cushy. But I do think she is feeling that sense of potential and control that is so appealing to the thousands of people who decide to make it on their own everyday.

According to a 2004 Vanderbilt University study the number of entrepreneurs aged 45-64 was projected to grow by 15 million in 2006.

The 2006 U.S. Census Bureau reports that 1 out of 2 of the nation’s businesses are operated from home.

A 2006 Wells Fargo/Gallup Poll survey shows that on average small business owners work 52 hours per week.

I share all these statistics in support of an instinct shared by many and that is that we are a nation of “wanna be” and successful entrepreneurs. Why? There are probably many reasons, some dealing with the lack of long term employment security in the workplace. But more interestingly a recent Yahoo Small Business survey reports that 3/4 of U.S. adults who go online say the Internet has made it easier to start a business.

That’s no surprise with the growing amount of business writers (ahem), internet marketers, virtual assistants, life coaches, consultants, editors and a host of other professionals who are making a good living running their businesses and securing clients via the Internet.

At the very least this gives current employees or the unemployed some hope, ideas and encouragement regarding the choices that are out there. We live on the leading edge of the developing world. If you desire to gain some control in how and where you work what are doing to carve out your place or niche in the marketplace?

A Podcast About Where We Live, Work & Play

There is just too much to say about the “green” new urban lifestyle on a website so I’m really glad to announce the launch of our audio companion…the New Urban Mom Podcast!

Today will be the introduction of our first full 30-minute show. Program highlights include:

• What exactly is New Urbanism anyhow?
• Eco-friendly grocery shopping tips for moms

• An Interview with one of the busiest moms on the Mom Talk Network – Aurelia Williams! Aurelia is going to share some insight into her “Schools Out” summer resource package for parents of TEENS. Click on the logo up in the top right corner of this page to get more information about this package.
• Some suggestions for creative activities for families, date night, girlfriend night…

Show References:

Click here to learn how to plan for the perfect teen summer!

For information on how to develop a diet based on food grown and purchased locally visit http://www.localharvest.org;

Show 2

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